Josh had a BFF forever in high school and most of college - he was so close to him that some joked they should just get married. Josh and Nick did a lot together for a long time, but part of growing up is making new friends, new interests, and guys don't stay in touch like girls do. Nick married an AMAZING women Chelsea who is open, honest and real. The type of girl you'd love to hate but just can't because she's just too darn cute! All of that to say that a year ago Nick was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma and Chelsea has been great at blogging the progress, feelings, emotions, difficulties and sharing their struggles. She writes with dignity, candor, and lets you know whats going on. I greatly admire her and often wish I could be more honest like she is. We get to see each other very infrequently but I love the time we do get to spend together and look forward to reading her posts.
I had the rare chance to get together with her and Nick last Friday, and walked away deeply desiring to be more authentic in my life and in talking about my struggles. Then I came across this blog about The disease called "Perfection" and wham! The conviction was even greater!!
I considered that I might be to "southern" its not polite to speak of such things in mixed company. Things that happen in the privacy of your home should remain that way. Things should be discussed between a husband and a wife. My mother and grandmothers generation I dont' think really talk about problems too much. Things are the way they are and that's how it TI Tis...... but how much have I benefited from others realness, how much do I long to peel back the curtain and see if other husbands straggle out of bed at noon on Sunday to plant on the sofa and watch football all day? How much do I long to be able to sit down and "veg out" without feeling like I should have the house company ready - even if no company is coming. Who else has depression in their house, anyone else feel like a failure for ordering takeout cause they are just too tired to cook? Does anyone else get Bored!?
The very few times I write in my personal journal - I even lie there so that when I read back I'll remember the good stuff - talk about crazyness. If I can't be real with myself then wowza.......
Life is hard. It is messy and complicated. I wouldn't trade it for anything!
At the end of the day I am blessed to be married to a man who loves me, a God who forgives me and listens to the crazy - I am honest with Him..... and I'm surrounded with amazing friends and family.
I just have to remember that if the creme bruele isn't perfect and the blankets aren't folded with all matching edges - probably don't need to yell at the hubby that everyone will think we're less than perfect and don't have it all together..... cause they're probably squabbing about something equally inane and too busy to notice my folds!
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