Snooty McSnooter's Ville

My mom is a teacher - a great one rumor has it - after all she taught me all the good, non crazy stuff I know! Soo.... anywho she gets great presents from her students sometimes and she doesn't always think they are appropriate for her - but very much approriate for me.  So that's how I scored a facial at a snooty upper crust place.

It had more attitude than cohesive decorating skillz.... but neither here nor there.  After I was told about a botox party and how really to take good care of my face I should come in every 4-6 weeks.... I thought good thing I have an over inflated sense of self and think I rock - cause this lady could make me very poor and insecure.

So this is my before - so many lines and wrinkles! Stress all over my face!

Afterwards DANG I'm gonna be back every 4-6 weeks this lady does a heck of a job!!

Helllooooo

DRAMA
So its been awhile since I wrote....... and its cause this gentleman and I became involved in a very intimate relationship, and as you can guess its really changed things at home. 

Did I have you going? No - well fine I love my husband and everyone knows it - could be worse. ; )

The gentleman on the left is a Dr. that did surgery on me to remove a abscess from below my tailbone. I got to go under anesthetic and everything. I haven't been in the hospital before, and wow! I hated getting poked by needles the most like cry every time!  Really got to work on that one. In the words of Pollyanna I'm a HUGE sissy baby!!

So the story is that my booty hurt on like Wednesday, but I thought I might have done something at my kick boxing class, and Thursday it was a bit worse and Friday was really painful and I was tired and grumpy and it hurt to sit down, then Saturday I woke up and was like "DANG" it hurts to even lay here - so Josh & I trekked off to the emergency room at Texas Health Harris Methodist Hurst Euless Bedford Hospital. Needless to say - no one had monogrammed clothing!! (seriously that’s the name!)

Once we got there, checked in seen by a doctor, talked to a surgeon, moved to a regular room, wheeled down to surgery, drugged up, cut up, wheeled back, rested, talked to my mom and grandma, rested some more and the bada bing - I got to go home. The whole thing was only 10 hours start to finish. I am pretty sure if they hadn't given me hyracodine I woulda gotten out earlier but it just made me so relaxed and less pushy!! I counted and I got handled by 15 different nurses - doesn't include doctors or surgeons!

Josh was amazing because it started SNOWING while I was in recovery so he went home, turned on the heater and covered all our flowers for me - and they are all doing fine!! Plus he is just amazing and super sweet!! If you ever need a good ER buddy - he's your man.

I have had to stay home, loungue on my side and rest - RELAX!!! It has been a really hard week to say the least.  For realz.

So thats my drama story.

Pain, Embarrasment and Secrets!!

The Secret
A big reveal to my 4 blog readers - I am shorter than my family. Not just kinda shorter - like way shorter.... Jean is like 6 or 7" taller than me. If we moosh our faces together like this - no one can tell who's taller or shorter....

The weird thing is I have never felt short or thought of myself as short.... No clue why but everyone reminds me how short I am and pictures go a long way to show that I am in fact a shorty. I gravitate towards taller shoes generally and love em' - 4" heel is about my max and I usually need a walking buddy to go with me.

                                                     This picture is old - but we look great!

So when Josh and I ate sushi on Saturday and after lunch passed a shop in the strip mall with ginormous platform/stripper shoes I knew I had to try them on. I feel great in 4" heels but what about in a ONE FOOT tall platform - that had to be better right? I crammed my foot into the right foot shoe that was on display, leaned on Josh's shoulder and hosted myself up. And DANG I was up there tall! As tall as I am on a step ladder at home - no joking.

Well Josh stepped back to view the new Amazon woman he was shopping with and I gave a little hip wiggle - "look at me all tall and cool, Jean's got noooothhhiiiinnnnng...... " and BOOM in a slow motion, quiet, typical moment I came down, all 12" of my height were gobbled up by gravity. Twisted the crap outta my knee and big crocodile tears of pain and embarrassment rolled down my face - it was real bad, but not bad enough that I couldn't right myself, snap a picture of the offending shoe and stroll out with my head held kinda high with a gansta limp. Ouch!

The Embarrassment
After church on Saturday nights Josh and I try to take time and go to dinner and movie - enjoy being dressed up and relaxed and so we went to Trulocks in Southlake. Totally snooty and that night it was expensive for my mood - like the price of the food made me less hungry.
I think our waitress saw my sticker shock face and when I said we were just going to get a drink and appetizer she remembered that the bar area had 1/2 price drinks and appetizers til' 7 o'clock Monday - Saturday. Totally cool and way more up my ally! So we moved over there, the bar was super nice, had a piano man and everything.


Ok so the story: I ordered a martini

Waitress: Gin or Vodka

Me: Vodka - dirty

Waitress: What kinda vodka

Me: I dunnknow..... what cha got

Waitress (getting pretty bored by now): Grey Goose, SKYY, Absolut, Belvedere, etc.

Me(overwhelmed and going with what I know): Don't you have any Tanqueray?

Josh: That's GIN you wanted VODKA.......

Me (red faced & not impressing the waitress AT ALL by now): err... yeah..... Grey Goose....

Josh: Oh dears

Waitress: O.k. then I’ll have that right out

End Scene.

The EGO!

I would pose a question to you - when you look at the picture below what do you see?

Well to me, all I see is a lovely gorgeous ring that my Husband and MIL go graciously collaborated on and blessed me with. So when I was at a conference recently talking with people and they kept craning their heads to stare at my hand I was thinking

"Jeeze the ring is awesome and all but don't have to be so obvious when you stare!"

Well after it had happened a couple of times I realize - oops!!

Things that make you go hmmm.....

Like does a full moon - or nearly full moon make

these adorable puppies (they're about 80 pounds heavier now but this is for dramatic and cute effect) turn into restless monsters that won't sleep through the night but continually insist on getting up and nosing me while I try to sleep and then chasing the cat and then running laps around the house...... all night long.....

Seriously look how cute those faces are! Then as I'm driving to work wondering how they could cause so much trouble - I see this - and my heart skipped a beat.

It's a suburban being towed at an angle so when I saw it it looked like it was coming at me.... and then I wondered - why? Why not just tow it straight?  Maybe just to give me something to contemplate today....  After being exhausted this weekend and trying rest up my mind is ready to tackle the big questions in life.  ; )