A big reveal to my 4 blog readers - I am shorter than my family. Not just kinda shorter - like way shorter.... Jean is like 6 or 7" taller than me. If we moosh our faces together like this - no one can tell who's taller or shorter....
The weird thing is I have never felt short or thought of myself as short.... No clue why but everyone reminds me how short I am and pictures go a long way to show that I am in fact a shorty. I gravitate towards taller shoes generally and love em' - 4" heel is about my max and I usually need a walking buddy to go with me.
This picture is old - but we look great!
So when Josh and I ate sushi on Saturday and after lunch passed a shop in the strip mall with ginormous platform/stripper shoes I knew I had to try them on. I feel great in 4" heels but what about in a ONE FOOT tall platform - that had to be better right? I crammed my foot into the right foot shoe that was on display, leaned on Josh's shoulder and hosted myself up. And DANG I was up there tall! As tall as I am on a step ladder at home - no joking.
Well Josh stepped back to view the new Amazon woman he was shopping with and I gave a little hip wiggle - "look at me all tall and cool, Jean's got noooothhhiiiinnnnng...... " and BOOM in a slow motion, quiet, typical moment I came down, all 12" of my height were gobbled up by gravity. Twisted the crap outta my knee and big crocodile tears of pain and embarrassment rolled down my face - it was real bad, but not bad enough that I couldn't right myself, snap a picture of the offending shoe and stroll out with my head held kinda high with a gansta limp. Ouch!
So when Josh and I ate sushi on Saturday and after lunch passed a shop in the strip mall with ginormous platform/stripper shoes I knew I had to try them on. I feel great in 4" heels but what about in a ONE FOOT tall platform - that had to be better right? I crammed my foot into the right foot shoe that was on display, leaned on Josh's shoulder and hosted myself up. And DANG I was up there tall! As tall as I am on a step ladder at home - no joking.
Well Josh stepped back to view the new Amazon woman he was shopping with and I gave a little hip wiggle - "look at me all tall and cool, Jean's got noooothhhiiiinnnnng...... " and BOOM in a slow motion, quiet, typical moment I came down, all 12" of my height were gobbled up by gravity. Twisted the crap outta my knee and big crocodile tears of pain and embarrassment rolled down my face - it was real bad, but not bad enough that I couldn't right myself, snap a picture of the offending shoe and stroll out with my head held kinda high with a gansta limp. Ouch!
The Embarrassment
After church on Saturday nights Josh and I try to take time and go to dinner and movie - enjoy being dressed up and relaxed and so we went to Trulocks in Southlake. Totally snooty and that night it was expensive for my mood - like the price of the food made me less hungry.
I think our waitress saw my sticker shock face and when I said we were just going to get a drink and appetizer she remembered that the bar area had 1/2 price drinks and appetizers til' 7 o'clock Monday - Saturday. Totally cool and way more up my ally! So we moved over there, the bar was super nice, had a piano man and everything.
Ok so the story: I ordered a martini
Waitress: Gin or Vodka
Me: Vodka - dirty
Waitress: What kinda vodka
Me: I dunnknow..... what cha got
Waitress (getting pretty bored by now): Grey Goose, SKYY, Absolut, Belvedere, etc.
Me(overwhelmed and going with what I know): Don't you have any Tanqueray?
After church on Saturday nights Josh and I try to take time and go to dinner and movie - enjoy being dressed up and relaxed and so we went to Trulocks in Southlake. Totally snooty and that night it was expensive for my mood - like the price of the food made me less hungry.
I think our waitress saw my sticker shock face and when I said we were just going to get a drink and appetizer she remembered that the bar area had 1/2 price drinks and appetizers til' 7 o'clock Monday - Saturday. Totally cool and way more up my ally! So we moved over there, the bar was super nice, had a piano man and everything.
Ok so the story: I ordered a martini
Waitress: Gin or Vodka
Me: Vodka - dirty
Waitress: What kinda vodka
Me: I dunnknow..... what cha got
Waitress (getting pretty bored by now): Grey Goose, SKYY, Absolut, Belvedere, etc.
Me(overwhelmed and going with what I know): Don't you have any Tanqueray?
Josh: That's GIN you wanted VODKA.......
Me (red faced & not impressing the waitress AT ALL by now): err... yeah..... Grey Goose....
Josh: Oh dears
Waitress: O.k. then I’ll have that right out
End Scene.
Josh: Oh dears
Waitress: O.k. then I’ll have that right out
End Scene.
The EGO!
I would pose a question to you - when you look at the picture below what do you see?
Well to me, all I see is a lovely gorgeous ring that my Husband and MIL go graciously collaborated on and blessed me with. So when I was at a conference recently talking with people and they kept craning their heads to stare at my hand I was thinking
"Jeeze the ring is awesome and all but don't have to be so obvious when you stare!"
Well after it had happened a couple of times I realize - oops!!
Great post!! I do stuff like that ALL the time. Love how you were drinking martinis after church, ha! Considering we drink wine and my bible study I think that's right up my ally.
ReplyDeleteallEy not ally. But that too I guess.
ReplyDeletei see a high school girl with attitude
ReplyDeleteI can imagine your fall from 12" was similar to the slow motion fall at the airport. It may not have happened like that, but in my head it did!
ReplyDeleteI messed up at the liquor store the other day. I asked "where are your gold schnaps?" He looked at me and made me repeat my question. Then he said "Gold Schlager?" I blushed with embarassment and quickly told him it was my husband's drink and not my own. Woops!
Julie